“No! To, ‘Up Close and Personal’”

I have 12 grandchildren.  Only 2 of them have parents that are both Black.  These grandchildren are the sons of my oldest son Owen.

My 5 children consist of one daughter, whose husband is White, 2 sons whose wives are Latina, and one son whose wife is White.

All, except my oldest son, who married Black, dated many races during high school.  My oldest son – never!

 Owen, my oldest, said that he was shown at age 9, in the 4th grade, that, “you cannot trust White girls.”  He quoted Maya Angelou: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

His lesson came at that early age on the school playground.  His classmate, a girl, with whom he had, in the past, worked on a classroom science project, called to him on the playground, that she had something she wanted him to see.  She said it was behind the class bungalow.

As soon as they rounded the corner, she grabbed him and kissed him.

Unbeknownst to them another classmate had followed them.  The classmate began laughing and yelling, calling everyone to come see Owen kissing Valerie.  Another classmate told the teacher who came immediately.

The teacher grabbed Owen’s shoulders, shook him and said, that such behavior would not be tolerated at this school.  His punishment would be 2 weeks with no recess.  He’d have to stay inside and write standards. 

When the teacher returned to her desk, the kids were snickering and teasing Valerie.  She was embarrassed, so she strode over to Owen, followed by the kids, and snarled at him, hands on her hips, “That’s what you get for kissing me!”

Owen silently glared at her, as he struggled with feelings of hurt, anger and injustice.

A few days later, Valerie, acting as if nothing had happened, leaned across the aisle and asked Owen if he wanted to work with her on the new class assignment.  Owen, who had been avoiding her since the incident said, “No, I do not, and you stay away from me!” 

Valerie (shocked) put her head down on her desk and started sobbing.  The teacher came to her and asked what happened. Instead of answering, her sobbing got louder.

The kids around her said that Owen had said something to upset her and she just started crying.

The teacher turned and once again, put hands on Owen.  She was gripping his ear as she pulled him up from his chair and said, “I’m taking you to the office! I have had enough of your behavior, and I’ll have no more of it!”

He was taken to the counselor who listened to Owen’s account of what had taken place over the past week up to and including this day and how no one believed what he said, and how Valerie let him take the blame for everything.

In the end the counselor’s only comment was to tell him to just remain in his office until school let out.

At the young age of 9, my son saw how easily and cavalierly this White girl had gotten him in trouble, escaped any culpability and spoke not a word to clear him or to prevent his punishment.

She then expected to be received by her victim as if no offense had taken place.

When he rejected her, she was wounded for which she allowed another punishment to befall him. All she needed to do was sob without answering the teacher.

My son does not dislike white women, but due to what he has experienced, he does not ever want to be, “Up close and personal” with them. You know – self-preservation, and stuff like that!

Lora Harrington Pride, The Village  8/31/26