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January 2026

Across the Waiting Room

I recently wrote a piece called The Waiting Room.  In it I raised several questions.  For instance:  “Did I make the right choices?   Was I kind enough?  Did I fulfill my purpose?    What was my purpose anyway?  And finally:  Is there a time to back off from the fight to live longer and just “be”?  And “How do I know when to start making that transition?”

It is now January 15, 2026, just over a month since I posted that piece, and I think I have made some progress in answering these questions.  Here are my most recent thoughts.

Have I made the right choices?  I'll never answer that.  Different choices could have led to a “better life” or perhaps a life not so good.  Either way, I suspect that most of my choices have helped me along my journey while doing some good to those around me.

Was I kind enough?   What does kindness mean?  It's different in different circumstances.   I have accepted that I've tried to look out for chances to show kindness and will continue to do so.  And that in some cases my kindness has done some good.  I am satisfied with that. 

What was my purpose?   I think that my searches for purpose have been fruitless,  mostly.  It's not so much something I do as something I am.  

Did I fulfill my purpose?   If I try to assert my purpose, I am likely to fail.  If I relax and just be myself, my purpose will find me and lead me to success.  

I realize that giving up the fight, by being still, by just being me, will allow for my presence to influence others in ways that I may never fathom.  That is plenty good enough.  

When should I start backing off?  I already have.  

A while back, a friend asked me to dinner.  We had a lovely time just talking about this and that.  At dinner's end as she reached for her credit card, I asked “Can I contribute anything”.  Her answer:  “You have”.   In a nutshell, that is fulfilling my purpose.

The doorway across the Waiting Room is getting closer every day.  To my surprise, the closer I get the warmer I feel.  I can almost feel myself start to rise from my easy chair with arms open wide.  My exit is coming soon.  As I approach, joy fills my heart.  

“Be Still and Know”