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How Did You Get Here?

By Jim Hendrick
Posted: 07/01/2026

There is a lot of conversation among Villagers about where we all came from. Many of us are a long way from home. Some have lived in multiple states. Others have crossed oceans and continents before arriving in Southern California. Over the past few months, I’ve been asking Villagers a simple question: How did you get here?

 

I expected to hear stories about careers, retirement dreams, or a desire for sunshine. Instead, I was surprised by how many people moved here because of their children and grandchildren. Family has a powerful pull.

 

That was certainly true for me. My daughter invited me to Pasadena in 2021 after she graduated from college, found a job in California, and got an apartment here. I came to visit to see how she was doing. I quickly fell in love with the weather, but I was also lonely. Then my daughter discovered Pasadena Village online. I joined, got involved, and found a community. It turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Today, my daughter is married, I have a wonderful son-in-law, and I recently became a grandfather for the first time to a little boy named Charlie. Although my daughter and her family have relocated to San Diego to be closer to her work, I have chosen to stay in Pasadena. The friendships, support, and sense of belonging I have found through Pasadena Village are irreplaceable.

 

On June 11, Villagers who weren’t native Californians gathered for a “How Did You Get Here?” lunch catered by Neighbors & Friends, LA’s first café collaborative in Old Pasadena, where every menu item, retail product, and event supports the local community. As folks gathered, I called everyone’s attention to two large maps on the walls—one of the United States and one of the world. I instructed attendees to let us know all of the places they had called home. Armed with sticky notes, Villagers marked the places they had lived before arriving here. Soon the maps were covered with colorful notes stretching from Maine to Florida, Michigan to Texas, England to South America, and many points in between.

 

The room buzzed with conversation. At each of the three tables, stories spilled out over lunch. Several times I heard someone exclaim, “I didn’t know that about you!” The exercise reminded us that there is always more to learn about one another. The stories shared with me over the past few years reflect both loss and resilience, uncertainty and hope. I’ve learned a lot about Villagers by asking how did you get here?

 

Judith Ray came to Pasadena from Michigan after the death of her husband in 2020. She loved Michigan—its snowy winters, Lake Michigan, the sand dunes, and the easy access to Chicago’s rich cultural life. But her large house had become too much to manage, and her 2 sons gently encouraged her to move closer to family.

 

She made an exploratory road trip to California with Bella, her dog, riding shotgun. Her son owned a property in Pasadena with enough room to build an accessory dwelling unit. Judith decided to take the leap. Construction delays meant spending months in Sierra Madre and then living temporarily with her son, but eventually she moved into her new home. She misses Michigan’s gentler hiking trails and cooler summers, but she enjoys tending her garden and watching things grow. For now, she says, Pasadena is home.

 

Anne Hill’s journey was more difficult. She moved alone from the East Coast to be near her son and his family. She found doctors and housing, but making friends proved much harder. She visited senior centers, joined the YMCA, and looked for opportunities to connect, but nothing seemed to click. She missed her old neighborhood and longtime friends. Depression set in, and she spent months isolated before finding help through a therapist. Everything changed when she discovered Pasadena Village. “It wasn’t until I discovered the Village that I found my people and a place to belong,” Anne told me. Today, she pays that gift forward by mentoring new Villagers facing the same challenges she once experienced.

 

Marvin Dainoff’s path to Pasadena wound through Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, New York, Ohio, and Massachusetts. After retiring from teaching and later losing his wife to cancer, he faced the prospect of living alone in a large house filled with decades of accumulated possessions. His younger son invited him to move to Los Angeles. Marvin accepted, downsized forty years of belongings, and drove across the country with his older son in 2023. He now lives in Eagle Rock with his son, daughter-in-law, grandchildren, and even his ex-wife, while preparing to move into a newly completed backyard ADU. “I now feel like a Californian,” he says.

 

Sue Addelson and her husband once split their time between Chicago and Pasadena, enjoying the best of both worlds. But after COVID, they realized the constant travel no longer made sense. “It was hard to give up our rich community of friends,” Sue said. “But the joys of being near our kids and grandkids far outweigh that.” She offered an observation that resonated around the room: “Moving at our age, regardless of the circumstances, takes a lot of guts. So kudos to all of us.”

 

That sentiment may best capture the spirit of the lunch. Leaving behind familiar neighborhoods, lifelong friends, favorite restaurants, houses full of memories, and communities built over decades requires courage. Starting over can be exhilarating, but it can also be lonely.

 

What Pasadena Village offers is something many of us didn’t realize we needed until we found it: a place where people genuinely want to know your story, where newcomers are welcomed, and where friendships continue to deepen. The maps filled with sticky notes told us where we had been. The conversations around the tables reminded us where we are now. And perhaps most importantly, they reminded us that while many of us came here because of family, many of us stay because we have found another family waiting for us at the Village.

 

We’ll be hosting another How Did You Get Here? lunch soon. Bring your story. Someone at the table may discover something new about you—and you may discover a new friend.