The Pasadena Village. A community of seniors supporting each other as they age in their own homes

The Men’s Time group got its start some ten years ago, making it as old as Pasadena Village itself. Some of its members had been meeting together through their church. Their leader, John Tuite, says the group was like being part of a small town where men meet every morning for breakfast at the local coffee shop. Only they met once a month.

Why a men’s group? As John explains it, generally men have a tendency to slip into isolation. They don’t easily pick up the phone and reach out to a friend. Men’s Time provides a way for men to find their voice and maintain their self-respect. “If you are isolated and your health is deteriorating, you can lose your self-respect. The acceptance and support we offer during Men’s Time allows for both growth and self-respect.” Also, the wives appreciate what the group offers. They are pleased that their husbands have something to look forward to and a place where they know they are always valued.

It is clear that, month in and month out, the men enjoy the exchange with other men and are very loyal to the group. The format of the group is simple and consistent each month. John decides on a topic or theme and writes about it on the Men’s Time blog. In the days when they met in person, each person in the circle would speak about the topic, or sometimes about something else that was triggered by the topic. John would be the time keeper and make sure that everyone who wanted to had a chance to speak. Now, of course, they are on Zoom, but the same principles apply.

Pat Dawe is a regular participant of Men’s Time. “I don’t like Zoom and I wish we could go back to meeting in person. But I’m always interested to see how the other men are doing and I like to hear what they have to say. Some things really light people up. We’ve been together a long time now and it’s good to see people at different phases of their lives.”

Another regular attendee, Peter LeSourd, enjoys the variety of the topics. Men’s Time is the only way that is possible for me to be in the presence of a substantial group of Village men. I’m active with the hiking group and other activities which have both men and women. I like that the focus is on men. We have some very in depth conversations, not just chit chat. And we are made to feel very comfortable.”

These are challenging times for the group. Some of its original members are now approaching their 90’s and are not as robust as they once were. Some of them cannot participate in other Village activities, so the group is especially important to them. The men know that the group needs new, younger men to keep it alive and well. To this end, John is planning some outdoor breakfast gatherings where new people can learn what the group has to offer them and contribute to its future development.

For more detailed information on Men's Time” and other Village happenings go to the the Pasadena Village Blog page to view the Blogs, then click on Men's Time. Note that you do not have to be a member of the Village to look at this information.

Partial list of topics discussed in the Men's Group over the past year

Who Am I? How do the nature and impact of your family history help define who you are?

Choices: What choices have you made that cause you to wonder “what if”? What do you think the outcome of a different choice would have been?

Vacations: What vacation trips do you remember most fondly and why? (Suggested by Mike Babcock.)

Holidays: What were the holidays of the past like as a young adult? A teen? A child?

What Lies Ahead: What is the meaning of your life at this point in time? What do you want to think about, read about, talk about, or learn about in the year ahead?

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