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Breaking The Fear Cycle

Transforming the Fear-Cycle

The fear-cycle is formed when our biochemistry changes because of a constant state of fear. Thus fear becomes an automatic habitual response to everything. Breaking the fear-cycle not only helps us make well thought-out decisions and courses of action, it removes associated impacts on our physical and mental health. It also begins to release us from the power of those who wish to control us. The politicians and civil servants, who have a trust to protect us, break that trust when they spread fear. However, we can learn who to trust more selectively. This includes trusting our own process of determining what is a risk and what is not. It means trusting our own courage and experience.

I spoke with a woman recently who described how she had lost her children in a dreadful accident some years ago. Her husband helped her to gradually recover and go on and, in doing so, she came to trust her own resilience. She said “No matter what happens, I know I can go on! Because I did it. “

Transforming happens on both a communal and personal level.

Step one: Recognizing fear habits

Taking an instant to recognize feeling afraid, I breathe deeply, then ask myself if I am frightened by something in the here and now, or a future possibility. The future fear comes from a habitual reaction. In the absence of immediate danger, we can interrupt the fear-cycle by consciously substituting memories of joy then relishing that joy. When I visualize blossoming trees, a child’s face, the sight and sounds of the ocean’s swell, my body relaxes, my spirit soars and heart opens. This becomes my new habit, a practice of joy.

Step two: Rejecting unceasing sources of fear-mongering and propaganda.

Media and news are potent sources of fear. Ironically daily appeals for donations are often couched in dramatic and doomsaying headlines. We can cope by going on a diet: substituting the unhealthy with healthy information. See several good online news sources at the end.

Step three: Finding support system

Fear isolates us and loneliness increases fear thus undermining our attempts to change. Transforming habitual responses is more effective in the presence of social support reminders. Therefore, it is important to choose the right Community as social support. 

Belonging is a vital human need - as important as food, water, shelter, physical safety for healthy human development. As we search for where we belong, exploring the values basic to a group is important. Although “Community”, “Inclusion” are often used interchangeably, they do not mean the same thing.

Inclusion is like being a guest. When invited to join a group, the guest needs to follow the rules of the group and adapt regardless of their own individual needs. This is often seen as a step on the way to belonging.

Community means that the needs and the goals of all the participants are important. In other words, they become co-hosts. They belong.

Belonging and Difference

Cultivating fear increases division. Division emphasizes differences of others and adds to fear. We often compensate by viewing others as less than ourselves. This also becomes a habit. Many groups are formed on an "Us" and "Not Us"(Them) basis. This has been called "othering" and reinforces the fear-cycle.

I learned a potent lesson about othering during my childhood in a multi-racial country. When I missed the school bus, I would go home on a local country bus. The journeys were always interesting, and I especially loved it when the whole bus joined a driver in singing Hindi pop-songs or the latest calypso. On one journey, another passenger, a drunken old man, began violently cursing me, yelling different racial insults and threats. I shrank in my seat, feeling frightened and not knowing how or if to respond. Then a large woman from yet another race interceded. Her words stayed with me. "Shut up ole man! She only a little chile!" She said it so forcefully that the man shut up. I was so grateful that the woman had spoken up in my defense. Later I understood that he “saw” a member of a racial group he hated (othering). The woman looked past our racial differences and recognized me as a small, frightened human being and her compassion ruled. I understood a bit more of how it must feel for the many people facing racism, and I try to emulate that compassionate woman. That journey became a lifelong lesson in “bridging”—the practice of finding common humanity even amid disagreement. This capacity to bridge across difference is essential for social healing.

In meetings where various points of view are loudly voiced, it is tempting to “other” those with differing opinions (or who are different from oneself in other ways). When I recognized an potential antagonist as a mother like myself, I found it easier to really listen to what she was saying. 

Belonging to Community

It was time to look for a community for myself. In seeking authentic connection, I was attracted to the website description of the Village Movement.” "a community of older adults .... who have joined together to help each other as we navigate the challenges and opportunities of aging. We believe we can have a better experience of aging when we know we can rely on each other for support, for resources and for friendship."

I hope that these ideas for resisting fear, reclaiming agency, and restoring community will be useful for others.. By practicing mindfulness, rejecting fear-based messaging, building bridges across difference, and nurturing true belonging, we can not only survive but also reshape a fractured world – together.  In these divisive political times building bridges and connecting with others is essential.

For further information on how fear is used and its effects see "ARE YOU AFRAID? THE EFFECTS OF WIDESPREAD FEAR"

Resources 

GoodNewsNetwork  

Fix the News

Earthshot Prize