Blog archive
November 2024
Event of Remembrance
11/22/2024
Phishing Scams: What You Need to Know
11/22/2024
Pupusas Family Style: Another Adventurous Dining Winner
11/22/2024
Celebrating the Holidays
11/21/2024
Genealogy Group: Discovering Our Pasts
11/21/2024
Nathan Wolford – From Tragedy to Ministry
11/21/2024
Pasadena Village Board of Directors: A Brief Overview
11/21/2024
President's Message
11/21/2024
The Day of the Dead (Dia de muertos)/ Mexican Culture/Community
11/21/2024
Vintage Celebration: Aging Like a Fine Wine
11/21/2024
Review of Racism in Our Local Past
11/20/2024
Creative Juices Flow in The Village
11/19/2024
Checking In by Ed Rinderle
11/15/2024
Eagle Poem by Joy Harjo
11/15/2024
I Shall Forget You Presently, My Dear (Sonnet IV) by Edna St. Vincent Millay
11/15/2024
Pictures From Brueghel by William Carlos Williams
11/15/2024
October 2024
ARBORIST WALK: NOT FOR TREE HUGGERS ONLY!
10/29/2024
Bill Wishner: Visual Hunter
10/29/2024
Can a Village Group Fix Our Healthcare System?
10/29/2024
Community Board Directors Strengthen Village Board
10/29/2024
Connecting with Village Connections: The A, B, C, & D’s of Medicare @ 65+
10/29/2024
Grief is a Journey: Two Paths Taken
10/29/2024
Message from the President
10/29/2024
Promoting Informed & Involved Voters
10/29/2024
What Will Be Your Legacy?
10/29/2024
1619, Approaching the Election...
10/27/2024
Beyond and Within the Village - A Star is Born
10/17/2024
Happiness by Priscilla Leonard
10/11/2024
Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden
10/11/2024
Unpainted Door by Louise Gluck
10/11/2024
In the Evening by Billy Collins
10/10/2024
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
10/10/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024
September 2024
Connecting with Village Connections
09/30/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
09/27/2024
Reflection on Life
09/20/2024
Expanding the Possibilities
09/19/2024
Need a Ride? No Problem!
09/17/2024
Security When Aging (Especially If You Are Single)
09/17/2024
The Bridge Begins at Thanksgiving
09/17/2024
The Power of Collective Service: Putting the Village First
09/17/2024
Tino Melchor - A Mentor for Young Teens in the Making
09/17/2024
Village Party Bus Delivers FUN
09/17/2024
We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know: That’s Why We Have Educational Programs
09/17/2024
On Rereading Tolle by Ed Rinderle
09/10/2024
Autumn Leaves
09/09/2024
August 2024
1619 Wide Ranging Interests
08/19/2024
1619 Wide Ranging Interests
08/19/2024
First Anniversary
08/19/2024
Alexandra Leaving by Leonard Cohen
08/16/2024
Muse des Beaux Arts by W. H. Auden
08/16/2024
The God Abandons Antony by Constantinos P. Cavafy
08/16/2024
Ch – Ch – Ch –Changes
08/15/2024
Cultural Activities Team offers an ‘embarrassment of riches’
08/15/2024
Engaging in Pasadena Village
08/15/2024
Future Housing Options
08/15/2024
Message from the President
08/15/2024
There Are Authors Among Us
08/15/2024
Villagers Welcome New Members at the Tournament Park Picnic
08/15/2024
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas
08/14/2024
A narrow Fellow in the Grass by Emily Dickinson
08/13/2024
Haikus
08/13/2024
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
08/13/2024
Poem 20 by Pablo Neruda
08/13/2024
Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
08/13/2024
Trees by Joyce Kilmer
08/13/2024
July 2024
Alma Stokes, The Struggle in Pasadena
07/25/2024
A Poetry Gathering: Liberating Experiences Available
07/19/2024
Civil Rights Movement Series
07/19/2024
Happy Hours in Pasadena: A Villager’s Perspective
07/19/2024
Pasadena Village and the National Dialogue on Villages and Healthy Aging Research
07/19/2024
President's Message
07/19/2024
The Kern River Rafting Caper
07/19/2024
The Village Artists Group creates creative camaraderie
07/19/2024
An Example of Inherent Racism
07/14/2024
Current, Upcoming Events
07/04/2024
June 2024
No Real Recourse For Discrimination
06/30/2024
A Personal Statement of Strength and Well-Being
06/25/2024
Juneteenth Reflections
06/24/2024
Reflections on 2023-2025
06/21/2024
Reactions and Reflections Re: Juneteenth
06/19/2024
As Our Organization Grows, Villagers Recall Personal Highlights
06/17/2024
From the Outgoing President
06/17/2024
Letter from the Incoming President: Beginning Our ‘Lagniappe’ Year
06/17/2024
The Editorial Team Looks Back: Creating the Voice of the Village
06/17/2024
This Year's Resource Fair was the Most Successful Ever
06/17/2024
Telling the Whole Story
06/12/2024
Nashville
06/10/2024
May 2024
Emergency Preparedness: Are You Ready?
05/28/2024
Farewell from the 2023/24 Social Work Interns
05/28/2024
Gina on the Horizon
05/28/2024
Mark Your Calendars for the Healthy Aging Research California Virtual Summit
05/28/2024
Meet Our New Development Associate
05/28/2024
Putting the Strategic Plan into Practice
05/28/2024
Washington Park: Pasadena’s Rediscovered Gem
05/28/2024
Introducing Civil Rights Discussions
05/22/2024
Rumor of Humor #2416
05/14/2024
Rumor of Humor #2417
05/14/2024
Rumor of Humor #2417
05/14/2024
Rumor of Humor #2418
05/14/2024
Springtime Visitors
05/07/2024
Freezing for a Good Cause – Credit, That Is
05/02/2024
No Discussion Meeting on May 3rd
05/02/2024
An Apparently Normal Person Author Presentation and Book-signing
05/01/2024
Flintridge Center: Pasadena Village’s Neighbor That Changes Lives
05/01/2024
Pasadena Celebrates Older Americans Month 2024
05/01/2024
The 2024 Pasadena Village Volunteer Appreciation Lunch
05/01/2024
Woman of the Year: Katy Townsend
05/01/2024
April 2024
Rumor of Humor #2410
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2411
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2412
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2413
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2414
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2415
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2416
04/28/2024
Stimulated by "Caste"
04/22/2024
Tulsa reparations, Religion and Politics
04/09/2024
March 2024
Trumps War with Black Women
03/31/2024
Addressing The Needs of Older Adults Through Pasadena Village
03/25/2024
Coming Soon: More Resources for Older Americans, Online and in Person
03/25/2024
Community Building Locally and Nationally
03/25/2024
Preparing for the Future with Ready or Not
03/25/2024
Volunteering is at The Heart of the Village
03/25/2024
Women's Liberation: Then and Now
03/25/2024
Writing Memoirs Together
03/25/2024
Current Views on Current Events
03/20/2024
Unchained
03/18/2024
Rumr of Humor issue # 2409
03/10/2024
Blacks Portrayed by European Artists
03/03/2024
Rumor of Humor #2408
03/03/2024
February 2024
Caring for Ourselves and Each Other
02/27/2024
Doug Colliflower Honored
02/27/2024
Great Decisions Connects Us to the Worldwide Community
02/27/2024
Letter from the President
02/27/2024
Pasadena Village's Impact
02/27/2024
The Power of Touch
02/27/2024
Villages as a New Approach to Aging
02/27/2024
Addressing Gang Violence in Pasadena-Altadena
02/21/2024
Rumor of Humor Issue 2407
02/19/2024
Thank You For Caring.
02/12/2024
Rumor of Humor 2405
02/11/2024
Curve Balls
02/10/2024
Sylvan Lane
02/10/2024
Rumor of Humor 2404
02/09/2024
Larry Duplechan, Blacks in Film
02/03/2024
January 2024
Pasadena Village Joins Community Partners in Vaccination Campaign
01/29/2024
Rumor of Humor #2403
01/28/2024
Pasadena Village Joins Two Healthy Aging Resource Projects
01/25/2024
Decluttering: Do It Now
01/24/2024
Village Volunteers Contribute to the Huntington Magic
01/24/2024
Villagers Creating Community
01/24/2024
Villagers Reflect on Black History Month
01/24/2024
Walk With Ease, 2024
01/24/2024
Wide Ranging Discussion on Current Issues
01/22/2024
Wide Ranging Discussion on Current Issues
01/22/2024
Rumor of Humor # 2402
01/21/2024
Rumor of Humor # 2401
01/15/2024
Re- Entry Programs, a Personal Experience
01/08/2024
Grief is a Journey: Two Paths Taken
By Edward A. RinderlePosted: 10/29/2024
Cowritten with Sally Asmundson.
On July 30 of last year, I lost my beloved wife Jean. Her sudden loss was a shock, and so were the masses of things to do that followed: dealing with the coroner's office, with Jean's remains, with endless paperwork that needed revision. Fortunately, love and support poured in to me from all directions, including Pasadena Village. And still, I was overwhelmed. I didn't realize it at the time, but one thing I needed desperately was to deal with my grieving.
By October, the pressure seemed to lessen a bit, so I decided to look for a grief group. Using Google, I found what seemed to be a perfect fit: GriefShare. This grief group meets near me and at a convenient time, so I signed up right away.
Each session consists of three parts: checking in, watching a 30-minute video, and discussing the video in small groups. No one is required to share in the discussions, and anything shared is strictly confidential. An optional Participant Guide is available for a modest $20 cost.
In the words of Sam Hodges, President of GriefShare: “You'll find it helpful to be around people who really 'get' what you're going through . . . because they're dealing with it, too.” Sam goes on to say “Your grief, and the relationship you had with your loved one, is unique. So we encourage you to grieve at your own pace and in your own time.” These two concepts, that you will be with people who 'get' what you're going through while acknowledging that your grieving process is unique, are the keys to bonding that can, and usually does, take place.
There was only one other participant when I began this journey, but after a holiday break in December, we experienced a boom when we reconvened in January as our weekly attendance neared twenty. During this time, I found myself leading the loss-of-spouse small group. So, I ended up playing two roles: as a participant, sharing my own grief journey, and as a facilitator, monitoring the group dynamics.
The facilitator role turned out to be easier than I thought. The group itself took care of most of the group dynamics, as they listened attentively with compassion, love, and caring, even as they shared their own stories.
The Spring session ended in June. We reconvened for the fall session in September. Most of the participants from the Spring had moved on, but among the newcomers, I soon saw the same group dynamics I had witnessed before – the compassion and love amid the sharing. It was beautiful, even miraculous, to see.
GriefShare is helping me in two ways. First, through its outpouring of love, I am learning how to manage my own grief. Second, by giving me a leadership role, it provides an outlet for me to give back. I am so moved by GriefShare that I plan to stay with it for as long as I possibly can.
The Village has played a vital role as I deal with my grief. Villagers, too, have offered generously of their caring and love. But with GriefShare, I have found a calling beyond the Village. GriefShare has saved my life, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I am growing into a better person.
Sally's Story
I didn’t attend a formal grief group after my husband Mike died in January 2023 but I did attend two different dementia support groups for about five years before his passing. I also read everything I could find about both dementia and grief starting with the writings of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. By the time Mike died I felt that I had experienced grief for many years and my overwhelming feeling was relief that both his pain and mine were ending. I did attend the dementia support groups occasionally for about 6 months after Mike’s death and had a celebration of life for him about four months later.
The groups were most helpful in showing me that I was not alone. While every situation was different and every person dealt with it differently, we all had similar emotions and needs. Also, I felt that I was in a small way able to help others with their grief.
I had amazing support from family and friends who listened to me and called or emailed regularly. I found the Alzheimer’s Association paper called “Dementia Grief” extremely helpful and, I read it multiple times over a period of at least three years. I think that it was also critical that I never stopped living my life and doing things that I knew kept me physically and mentally healthy.
As you can see, there is more than one way to face grief, but facing it is surely a healthy way forward. The most important step you can take is to seek the help you need . . . don’t give up.