Blog archive
October 2024
ARBORIST WALK: NOT FOR TREE HUGGERS ONLY!
10/29/2024
Bill Wishner: Visual Hunter
10/29/2024
Can a Village Group Fix Our Healthcare System?
10/29/2024
Community Board Directors Strengthen Village Board
10/29/2024
Connecting with Village Connections: The A, B, C, & D’s of Medicare @ 65+
10/29/2024
Grief is a Journey: Two Paths Taken
10/29/2024
Message from the President
10/29/2024
Promoting Informed & Involved Voters
10/29/2024
What Will Be Your Legacy?
10/29/2024
1619, Approaching the Election...
10/27/2024
Beyond and Within the Village - A Star is Born
10/17/2024
Happiness by Priscilla Leonard
10/11/2024
Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden
10/11/2024
Unpainted Door by Louise Gluck
10/11/2024
In the Evening by Billy Collins
10/10/2024
Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
10/10/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024
September 2024
Connecting with Village Connections
09/30/2024
Betty Kilby, A Family History
09/27/2024
Reflection on Life
09/20/2024
Expanding the Possibilities
09/19/2024
Need a Ride? No Problem!
09/17/2024
Security When Aging (Especially If You Are Single)
09/17/2024
The Bridge Begins at Thanksgiving
09/17/2024
The Power of Collective Service: Putting the Village First
09/17/2024
Tino Melchor - A Mentor for Young Teens in the Making
09/17/2024
Village Party Bus Delivers FUN
09/17/2024
We Don’t Know What We Don’t Know: That’s Why We Have Educational Programs
09/17/2024
On Rereading Tolle by Ed Rinderle
09/10/2024
Autumn Leaves
09/09/2024
August 2024
1619 Wide Ranging Interests
08/19/2024
1619 Wide Ranging Interests
08/19/2024
First Anniversary
08/19/2024
Alexandra Leaving by Leonard Cohen
08/16/2024
Muse des Beaux Arts by W. H. Auden
08/16/2024
The God Abandons Antony by Constantinos P. Cavafy
08/16/2024
Ch – Ch – Ch –Changes
08/15/2024
Cultural Activities Team offers an ‘embarrassment of riches’
08/15/2024
Engaging in Pasadena Village
08/15/2024
Future Housing Options
08/15/2024
Message from the President
08/15/2024
There Are Authors Among Us
08/15/2024
Villagers Welcome New Members at the Tournament Park Picnic
08/15/2024
Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas
08/14/2024
A narrow Fellow in the Grass by Emily Dickinson
08/13/2024
Haikus
08/13/2024
One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
08/13/2024
Poem 20 by Pablo Neruda
08/13/2024
Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
08/13/2024
Trees by Joyce Kilmer
08/13/2024
July 2024
Alma Stokes, The Struggle in Pasadena
07/25/2024
A Poetry Gathering: Liberating Experiences Available
07/19/2024
Civil Rights Movement Series
07/19/2024
Happy Hours in Pasadena: A Villager’s Perspective
07/19/2024
Pasadena Village and the National Dialogue on Villages and Healthy Aging Research
07/19/2024
President's Message
07/19/2024
The Kern River Rafting Caper
07/19/2024
The Village Artists Group creates creative camaraderie
07/19/2024
An Example of Inherent Racism
07/14/2024
Current, Upcoming Events
07/04/2024
June 2024
No Real Recourse For Discrimination
06/30/2024
A Personal Statement of Strength and Well-Being
06/25/2024
Juneteenth Reflections
06/24/2024
Reflections on 2023-2025
06/21/2024
Reactions and Reflections Re: Juneteenth
06/19/2024
As Our Organization Grows, Villagers Recall Personal Highlights
06/17/2024
From the Outgoing President
06/17/2024
Letter from the Incoming President: Beginning Our ‘Lagniappe’ Year
06/17/2024
The Editorial Team Looks Back: Creating the Voice of the Village
06/17/2024
This Year's Resource Fair was the Most Successful Ever
06/17/2024
Telling the Whole Story
06/12/2024
Nashville
06/10/2024
May 2024
Emergency Preparedness: Are You Ready?
05/28/2024
Farewell from the 2023/24 Social Work Interns
05/28/2024
Gina on the Horizon
05/28/2024
Mark Your Calendars for the Healthy Aging Research California Virtual Summit
05/28/2024
Meet Our New Development Associate
05/28/2024
Putting the Strategic Plan into Practice
05/28/2024
Washington Park: Pasadena’s Rediscovered Gem
05/28/2024
Introducing Civil Rights Discussions
05/22/2024
Rumor of Humor #2416
05/14/2024
Rumor of Humor #2417
05/14/2024
Rumor of Humor #2417
05/14/2024
Rumor of Humor #2418
05/14/2024
Springtime Visitors
05/07/2024
Freezing for a Good Cause – Credit, That Is
05/02/2024
No Discussion Meeting on May 3rd
05/02/2024
An Apparently Normal Person Author Presentation and Book-signing
05/01/2024
Flintridge Center: Pasadena Village’s Neighbor That Changes Lives
05/01/2024
Pasadena Celebrates Older Americans Month 2024
05/01/2024
The 2024 Pasadena Village Volunteer Appreciation Lunch
05/01/2024
Woman of the Year: Katy Townsend
05/01/2024
April 2024
Rumor of Humor #2410
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2411
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2412
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2413
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2414
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2415
04/28/2024
Rumor of Humor #2416
04/28/2024
Stimulated by "Caste"
04/22/2024
Tulsa reparations, Religion and Politics
04/09/2024
March 2024
Trumps War with Black Women
03/31/2024
Addressing The Needs of Older Adults Through Pasadena Village
03/25/2024
Coming Soon: More Resources for Older Americans, Online and in Person
03/25/2024
Community Building Locally and Nationally
03/25/2024
Preparing for the Future with Ready or Not
03/25/2024
Volunteering is at The Heart of the Village
03/25/2024
Women's Liberation: Then and Now
03/25/2024
Writing Memoirs Together
03/25/2024
Current Views on Current Events
03/20/2024
Unchained
03/18/2024
Rumr of Humor issue # 2409
03/10/2024
Blacks Portrayed by European Artists
03/03/2024
Rumor of Humor #2408
03/03/2024
February 2024
Caring for Ourselves and Each Other
02/27/2024
Doug Colliflower Honored
02/27/2024
Great Decisions Connects Us to the Worldwide Community
02/27/2024
Letter from the President
02/27/2024
Pasadena Village's Impact
02/27/2024
The Power of Touch
02/27/2024
Villages as a New Approach to Aging
02/27/2024
Addressing Gang Violence in Pasadena-Altadena
02/21/2024
Rumor of Humor Issue 2407
02/19/2024
Thank You For Caring.
02/12/2024
Rumor of Humor 2405
02/11/2024
Curve Balls
02/10/2024
Sylvan Lane
02/10/2024
Rumor of Humor 2404
02/09/2024
Larry Duplechan, Blacks in Film
02/03/2024
January 2024
Pasadena Village Joins Community Partners in Vaccination Campaign
01/29/2024
Rumor of Humor #2403
01/28/2024
Pasadena Village Joins Two Healthy Aging Resource Projects
01/25/2024
Decluttering: Do It Now
01/24/2024
Village Volunteers Contribute to the Huntington Magic
01/24/2024
Villagers Creating Community
01/24/2024
Villagers Reflect on Black History Month
01/24/2024
Walk With Ease, 2024
01/24/2024
Wide Ranging Discussion on Current Issues
01/22/2024
Wide Ranging Discussion on Current Issues
01/22/2024
Rumor of Humor # 2402
01/21/2024
Rumor of Humor # 2401
01/15/2024
Re- Entry Programs, a Personal Experience
01/08/2024
Caring for Ourselves and Each Other
By Claire GorfinkelPosted: 02/27/2024
Can you help me with something? I wonder how you react to this question. I know for many of us, it is an energizer. Both our enthusiasm and our anxiety may be aroused. We become poised for the succeeding question, wondering what we will be asked to do.
For many years I led workshops which included what I called “An Exercise in Asking for Help.” People paired off. One had to ask the other for help with something. It could be something they really needed, or something they made up. But the respondent had to answer honestly, from the heart: “I’d love to help you with that …” or “I couldn’t possibly do that, but I know someone who could ...” or “I need to know more about what you need …” or whatever. When the whole group came back together, I asked “What did it feel like to ask another person to help you?” and most people said it made them fairly uncomfortable. Asking another, even a friend, for help was awkward, made them feel vulnerable.
But then I asked the group: “What did it feel like to be asked?” and their answers surprised them. “I loved it!” “It made me feel so good to think I could be useful.” “I was ready to dig right in.” “She made me feel like I could make a difference!” “This could be the start of a whole new relationship!”
All too often we see this dilemma at the Village. Someone — or their partner — has just come home from the hospital. Another has recently endured a loss. Many are working long hours as the caregiver for a loved one. Some are gradually recovering following rehab. Some are simply lonely and seeking connection. Others are looking for resources in anticipation of an upcoming medical diagnosis or treatment. But they just don’t want to ask for help. I don’t want to be a bother. We have been conditioned to assert our independence: “I can do it myself.” We fear our needs will be too much, or admitting vulnerability will make us break down. It’s all I can do to hold on here!
How can the Village help? Village volunteers (who, by the way, really want to be of help) will happily provide an occasional meal, in-person visits or phone calls, a listening ear, some respite, a ride, a walk, an invitation to a Village event, a referral to someone else who has been through your diagnosis, treatment, situation, or knows about home care agencies, or hospice, a card, some cookies … what is it that you need?
We are here to support one another. We are here to build community, to combat loneliness, to have fun and interesting times together, to build friendships that will help sustain us when things get tough.
But we can’t do it if you don’t tell us what you want or need!
How can we all remember what a delight it is to be asked for help? I urge you to think about how much you, and others, love to be asked for advice, love to be asked for assistance, love to feel useful and needed. Your need can bring joy and satisfaction to someone else.
Villagers, you can call the Village office, or a member of the Care Team (ask the Village staff for names of Care Team members), tell your neighborhood group or walking buddy. Let us know. Let us care for you. I think you’ll be glad — and relieved — that you did . . . without a doubt, the person asked will feel needed and appreciated.