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Blog archive

November 2024

Event of Remembrance
11/22/2024

Phishing Scams: What You Need to Know
11/22/2024

Pupusas Family Style: Another Adventurous Dining Winner
11/22/2024

Celebrating the Holidays
11/21/2024

Genealogy Group: Discovering Our Pasts
11/21/2024

Nathan Wolford – From Tragedy to Ministry
11/21/2024

Pasadena Village Board of Directors: A Brief Overview
11/21/2024

President's Message
11/21/2024

The Day of the Dead (Dia de muertos)/ Mexican Culture/Community
11/21/2024

Vintage Celebration: Aging Like a Fine Wine
11/21/2024

Review of Racism in Our Local Past
11/20/2024

Creative Juices Flow in The Village
11/19/2024

Checking In by Ed Rinderle
11/15/2024

Eagle Poem by Joy Harjo
11/15/2024

I Shall Forget You Presently, My Dear (Sonnet IV) by Edna St. Vincent Millay
11/15/2024

Pictures From Brueghel by William Carlos Williams
11/15/2024

October 2024

ARBORIST WALK: NOT FOR TREE HUGGERS ONLY!
10/29/2024

Bill Wishner: Visual Hunter
10/29/2024

Can a Village Group Fix Our Healthcare System?
10/29/2024

Community Board Directors Strengthen Village Board
10/29/2024

Connecting with Village Connections: The A, B, C, & D’s of Medicare @ 65+
10/29/2024

Grief is a Journey: Two Paths Taken
10/29/2024

Message from the President
10/29/2024

Promoting Informed & Involved Voters
10/29/2024

What Will Be Your Legacy?
10/29/2024

1619, Approaching the Election...
10/27/2024

Beyond and Within the Village - A Star is Born
10/17/2024

Happiness by Priscilla Leonard
10/11/2024

Those Winter Sundays by Robert Hayden
10/11/2024

Unpainted Door by Louise Gluck
10/11/2024

In the Evening by Billy Collins
10/10/2024

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver
10/10/2024

Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024

Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024

Betty Kilby, A Family History
10/01/2024

September 2024

August 2024

1619 Wide Ranging Interests
08/19/2024

1619 Wide Ranging Interests
08/19/2024

First Anniversary
08/19/2024

Alexandra Leaving by Leonard Cohen
08/16/2024

Muse des Beaux Arts by W. H. Auden
08/16/2024

The God Abandons Antony by Constantinos P. Cavafy
08/16/2024

Ch – Ch – Ch –Changes
08/15/2024

Cultural Activities Team offers an ‘embarrassment of riches’
08/15/2024

Engaging in Pasadena Village
08/15/2024

Future Housing Options
08/15/2024

Message from the President
08/15/2024

There Are Authors Among Us
08/15/2024

Villagers Welcome New Members at the Tournament Park Picnic
08/15/2024

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas
08/14/2024

A narrow Fellow in the Grass by Emily Dickinson
08/13/2024

Haikus
08/13/2024

One Art by Elizabeth Bishop
08/13/2024

Poem 20 by Pablo Neruda
08/13/2024

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou
08/13/2024

Trees by Joyce Kilmer
08/13/2024

July 2024

June 2024

May 2024

Emergency Preparedness: Are You Ready?
05/28/2024

Farewell from the 2023/24 Social Work Interns
05/28/2024

Gina on the Horizon
05/28/2024

Mark Your Calendars for the Healthy Aging Research California Virtual Summit
05/28/2024

Meet Our New Development Associate
05/28/2024

Putting the Strategic Plan into Practice
05/28/2024

Washington Park: Pasadena’s Rediscovered Gem
05/28/2024

Introducing Civil Rights Discussions
05/22/2024

Rumor of Humor #2416
05/14/2024

Rumor of Humor #2417
05/14/2024

Rumor of Humor #2417
05/14/2024

Rumor of Humor #2418
05/14/2024

Springtime Visitors
05/07/2024

Freezing for a Good Cause – Credit, That Is
05/02/2024

No Discussion Meeting on May 3rd
05/02/2024

An Apparently Normal Person Author Presentation and Book-signing
05/01/2024

Flintridge Center: Pasadena Village’s Neighbor That Changes Lives
05/01/2024

Pasadena Celebrates Older Americans Month 2024
05/01/2024

The 2024 Pasadena Village Volunteer Appreciation Lunch
05/01/2024

Woman of the Year: Katy Townsend
05/01/2024

April 2024

March 2024

February 2024

January 2024

Looking Through the Fog

By Karen Bagnard
Posted: 08/18/2021
Tags: karen bagnard

- Contributed by Karen Bagnard -

With white cane in hand, TAP card in the other and purse on my arm, I climbed on to Dial-a-Ride. The driver and I exchanged “good mornings” and I swiped the TAP card. Then I found my seat, buckled up and off we went.

There was the promise of a hot day ahead in the cool morning. The air conditioning on the bus already felt wonderful as I stared out the window at the passing houses of my neighbors. Even though it was only 8:00 a.m. and “rush hour” was in full swing, my ride might only be 20 minutes to the eye doctor’s office in Pasadena.

Between the pandemic and the fact that I no longer drive, I hardly get out much at all. I’m quieter on my rides. I’m too busy looking at everything out the window. Even on the freeway I’m looking at drivers and thinking, “Yeah, I used to do that, too.” I wonder if they see me in the bus when they turn their heads and look my way. This must have been how my old dogs, Joey, Corky and Demy must have felt when they got to go for a ride in the family car.

I love seeing the old parts of town… the ones I remember from childhood. Where the new buildings stand I try to remember how it used to look. I don’t remember much. There’s always new construction going on. It’s amazing.

I marvel at the palm trees and the new buildings and the people rushing about. I can still see them. They look like they are walking through fog. The “fog” is in my eyes. It’s really a
clear, sunny morning.

I’ve come to accept the deterioration of my vision. Sometimes I slip into denial again and tell myself, “Naw, it’s not really happening.” Then I snap out of it because I can see that it is. Although I don’t know it yet, this doctor’s appointment will verify that it is. I am never surprised by it but I still hate hearing it confirmed.

I live so differently now than I did a little over three years ago. I have to plan ahead for where I need to go, hope that Dial-a-Ride has a ride available, which they almost always do, and know that I have a 20-minute pick-up window going and another 20-minute window coming home. I miss the convenience of just hopping into the car and going where ever it is I need to go, whenever I want to.

In a way, I’m still driving because I regularly dream about driving. Sometimes I’m off road and sometimes I’m driving off cliffs but, somehow, they are always fun… maybe a bit scary,
but I still enjoy them. My brother, Carl, who is blind and had to give up driving about ten years ago, told me I’d have dreams about driving. He still dreams about driving and expects he always will.

I don’t miss the car expenses, though. I wonder if I could even still afford them anymore. I miss my mechanics, Avo and his crew. They were always so nice and often gave me a ride home when my car was being serviced. One time the owner of the gas station was there and he offered to take me home. Now, that’s a story I need to write about someday!

The plus side of my life is that I have everything I need. I also have a sense of humor and a strong creative streak. I imagine and I “test drive” new art ideas. I am enjoying my home of over 47 years. I’m enjoying it more than I ever could have imagined. I am grateful for my nesting urges for they have created the loveliest nest for me. I still love having friends over to drink coffee or sip wine and enjoy good conversation.

While I may never go completely blind before my life is over, I am definitely moving in that direction. It feels like I’m in a fog much of the time so I pay attention to all that I can see and enjoy it while I can. I pay attention to the shadows of the trees and the phases of the moon and the sunlight coming through the blinds in the morning as I drink my coffee and slowly wake up. Life is so beautiful and there will always be things to appreciate and enjoy. Oddly, it’s the fog that’s rolling in that has made this clear to me.


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